The Emotional Journey of Trying to Conceive

Deciding to start a family is often filled with excitement, but once you begin trying, a different reality sets in—the waiting. At first, the wait can feel thrilling: counting down to ovulation, imagining due dates, and daydreaming about the future.

But as time goes on, the excitement can give way to frustration. Life begins to revolve around the two-week cycle—waiting to ovulate, then waiting to test. When months pass without success, it’s natural to wonder if you’re doing enough. You schedule doctor visits, undergo tests, and hear the common refrain: “Let’s wait and see.”

As the journey stretches on, the emotional toll can feel overwhelming. Your social media feeds might be flooded with announcements from friends who started trying long after you. The waiting becomes relentless—waiting for appointments, waiting for answers, and waiting for hope.

During this time, your body may feel like it’s stuck in overdrive. You might find yourself noticing every stroller on the sidewalk, dreading the next announcement, or bracing for yet another round of treatment. The constant state of stress is exhausting, affecting your relationships, confidence, and ability to enjoy life.

If you feel like this, you’re not alone. The path to parenthood can feel all-consuming, but it doesn’t have to. Below, I’ve outlined steps to help you reclaim a sense of balance, calm, and joy in your daily life.

Finding Calm During the Journey

1. Set Limits on Information Overload

When you’re trying to conceive, it’s natural to seek answers. But endless Googling and researching can quickly become overwhelming. While it’s impossible to stop completely, setting boundaries can help.

Decide how much time you’ll spend each week researching or engaging with forums. Schedule this time in your day, then step away once it’s over. This simple act of creating limits allows space for other activities—ones that bring you joy and relaxation.

2. Spend Time in Nature

Nature has a powerful way of calming the mind and soothing the nervous system. Whether it’s a short walk around the block, sitting in a garden, or hiking through a nearby park, spending time outside can be grounding.

Leave your phone behind or turn it off, and take a moment to truly connect with your surroundings. Listen to the sounds of birds, feel the sunlight on your skin, and notice the colors around you. Even a few minutes outside can provide a sense of relief.

3. Use Grounding Techniques

When emotions feel overwhelming, grounding exercises can help you return to the present moment. Here are two simple techniques to try:

• Deep Breathing: Place your hand on your stomach and take slow, deep breaths, focusing on the rise and fall of your breath.

• Butterfly Hug: Cross your arms over your chest, rest your hands on your shoulders, and gently tap alternately while breathing deeply.

These small practices can calm your mind and help you feel more in control.

4. Write Down Your Thoughts

Journaling can be a powerful way to process your emotions. Don’t worry about structure—simply write down whatever is on your mind. Whether you choose to keep or discard what you’ve written, the act of putting your feelings on paper can be cathartic.

If journaling feels intimidating, start small. Write down how you’re feeling in the moment or where you notice tension in your body. This can be a helpful first step in acknowledging and releasing emotions.

5. Challenge Negative Thoughts

We all have an inner voice that doubts or criticizes, especially during challenging times. That voice might tell you that your efforts are futile or that things will never work out.

When these thoughts arise, pause and examine them. Ask yourself: Are these thoughts rooted in fact, or are they assumptions? By gently questioning these beliefs, you can begin to shift your internal dialogue to one that is more compassionate and supportive.

6. Prioritize Meaningful Self-Care

Self-care doesn’t have to mean extravagant indulgences. It’s about creating space each day for activities that nourish you. This could include:

• Practicing meditation, yoga, or deep breathing

• Reading a book, you enjoy

• Taking a creative class or pursuing a hobby

• Scheduling time for an activity like painting, dancing, or attending a live event

Make self-care a non-negotiable part of your routine. These moments are essential for maintaining balance and emotional well-being.

7. Reconnect With What Brings You Joy

Think about the things you once loved doing but may have set aside. Perhaps it’s playing an instrument, gardening, or painting. Rekindling these passions can help you find moments of joy and presence, even during difficult times.

If there’s an activity you’ve always wanted to try, consider exploring it now. Reclaiming joy reminds you that life is still full of meaning and beauty, even in the midst of challenges.

8. Build a Support System

Surrounding yourself with supportive people can make a world of difference. This might include a trusted therapist, coach, acupuncturist, or a close friend. Online communities can also offer connection and understanding.

Having a safe space to share your feelings allows you to navigate the journey with less isolation and more resilience.

9. Give Yourself Permission to Slow Down

In a society that equates effort with success, it’s easy to feel like you need to push harder to achieve your goals. But when it comes to fertility, this approach often leads to burnout.

Slowing down doesn’t mean giving up—it means giving yourself the grace to rest and recharge. Ask yourself what slowing down might look like for you and how it would feel to embrace a gentler pace.

10. Try Guided Relaxation

Taking a few moments each day to connect with your body through relaxation or meditation can be incredibly grounding. Whether it’s listening to a guided meditation, practicing breathwork, or simply sitting in stillness, these moments help create a sense of calm in your day.

Reclaiming Balance on Your Fertility Journey

Trying to conceive can be an emotional and challenging experience, but it doesn’t have to take over your life. By prioritizing calm, creating space for joy, and embracing small daily practices, you can reclaim a sense of balance and control.

Remember, you are doing everything you can to grow your family. Now it’s time to care for yourself, too. You deserve moments of peace, hope, and joy—no matter where this journey takes you.